Colson is officially viable! He's also bigger than the average baby at this gestation, so that makes his odds even better! We've been told that he's above the 97th percentile for growth. We make big babies!

I had another appointment this week. My blood pressure continues to remain stable. I was surprised with my glucose test on Thursday (i thought I had 2 more weeks). Hopefully we won't hear back from them.... if we do, it means I failed. Yuck...

I am so thankful the 15th is over. I kept my head down that day and just tried to make it through.

Colson is kicking hard now.... at least, i think it's hard! Kailee kicked so irregularly and so softly, that Colson feels like he's starting the World Soccer Championship inside me!
Otherwise, everything continues to go well. We finally finished the registry we started over a year ago, so that was definitely a big step for us!

I need to post about September 15th again. Sorry people. As it gets closer and closer I can feel the knot in my stomach getting tighter and tighter. I hate that day. I wish I could just stay in bed and sleep through it. I'm hoping that the lead up to it will be worse than the actual day itself sort of like Kailee's due date was.

One year ago we had no idea what was about to hit us. But that's how life works, right? One minute everything is fine, but it can change on a dime. I'm not in control. I have to keep reminding myself of that fact. Colson is either meant to come home with us or he's meant to go home with Jesus. Kailee was meant to go home with Jesus. We got limited time with her. But, you know, everyone's time is limited, really. I have limited time with my husband... limited time with family and friends. Kailee's time was just cut much shorter than the average person's.

Colson is kicking like a champ. He gets stronger and stronger everyday. Brent was able to feel a little movement this morning, so it has definitely made me very happy. I was sitting in church this morning with this goofy grin on my face thinking about bringing home Colson; next thought lead to remembering closing Kailee's casket because I looked at the door to the room where we did that. Tears immediately sprang to my eyes and I had to physically make myself stop thinking that thought right that second. It's amazing that you can be so happily giddy one minute, and then so sad the next.

For those of you praying, I ask for specific prayers this week. I need to get through Wednesday with some amount of grace.

He is just the cutest little baby boy I've ever seen. We had our ultrasound today and, again, heard the word "normal." I LOVE that word!

During the ultrasound, Colson started pushing out his lips in a sucking motion. He also decided to bring his toes up to his lips and begin sucking on them. We got a picture of that, and it stole my heart away. He's measuring nice and big.... my thought is the bigger the better right now. I want him nice and big so--- if something DOES happen---- he will have the best chance he can to live.

Everything else seems to be going fine according to the doctor. I'm feeling his little kicks almost constantly now. I woke up at 3am this morning and he was kicking then! It was fun to watch him kick on the ultrasound at the same time I felt it!

I am completely in love with him.

I am having a really difficult time this month. Today is Labor day. I couldn't WAIT for labor day last year because our big anatomy scan was the next day... Though we didn't know anything was wrong after that scan, we did on September 15th. Just thinking about that day makes me sick to my stomach. I wish I could go back in time sometimes and just warn myself about what was going to happen.

There's nothing I could have done to stop it. I almost feel selfish saying this, but I'm so glad we're in 2010 instead of 2009.