I've made it to 6 weeks..... wow.... tomorrow is a trigger day for me. We lost our first little baby at 6w1d, so I'm sort of dreading tomorrow.
I am still having symptoms. I'm freezing Brent out, I've noticed that I'm just really hungry today.... I've learned that jolly ranchers help to ease my morning sickness. I'm pretty tired a lot of the time, but that's fine with me.
The biggest thing is that I am so angry all the time. I'm not even sure why. This last month of work has been a really big stressor for me.... I know my hormones are revving up and that has something to do with it. I also think it has to do with being pregnant again and being so scared.
I tell myself over and over through the day that everything will be alright, but my fears are coming out in my dreams. I am having dreams that I'm getting stabbed in my belly.... that people are stealing the baby....etc... I wake up pretty freaked out.
I am going to assume this is normal. I am also very angry about having to endure the 1st trimester all over again..... the first trimester is just so hard on my body--- always feeling sick, being so tired, being so moody. I know and understand why I have to go through it, but it still makes me angry that I do.
My solution for all of this is trying to take each day one day at a time. Being pregnant again has NOT made the grief of Kailee magically get better.... if anything, it's making it worse. I remember Kailee causing morning sickness....etc. A year ago today, we got our positive pregnancy test for our little angel..... this pregnancy doesn't make these memories go away---- she is still my daughter and my first born.....
I am still having symptoms. I'm freezing Brent out, I've noticed that I'm just really hungry today.... I've learned that jolly ranchers help to ease my morning sickness. I'm pretty tired a lot of the time, but that's fine with me.
The biggest thing is that I am so angry all the time. I'm not even sure why. This last month of work has been a really big stressor for me.... I know my hormones are revving up and that has something to do with it. I also think it has to do with being pregnant again and being so scared.
I tell myself over and over through the day that everything will be alright, but my fears are coming out in my dreams. I am having dreams that I'm getting stabbed in my belly.... that people are stealing the baby....etc... I wake up pretty freaked out.
I am going to assume this is normal. I am also very angry about having to endure the 1st trimester all over again..... the first trimester is just so hard on my body--- always feeling sick, being so tired, being so moody. I know and understand why I have to go through it, but it still makes me angry that I do.
My solution for all of this is trying to take each day one day at a time. Being pregnant again has NOT made the grief of Kailee magically get better.... if anything, it's making it worse. I remember Kailee causing morning sickness....etc. A year ago today, we got our positive pregnancy test for our little angel..... this pregnancy doesn't make these memories go away---- she is still my daughter and my first born.....
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