We had a training at work yesterday. We were supposed to bring in "things that inspire us" so we could make a big, fancy art project. I brought in a picture of Brent and Colson together. I also brought a picture of Kailee. No one asked about her or commented on it. It didn't make me sad. I've decided that I am going to just reduce my general expectations when it comes to pregnancy loss. I wonder, sometimes, if I've put myself into this little box of being a "grieving mother." It used to be how I defined myself. That has since turned into "grieving mother and mother to Colson." They are both equally important, but I have to say that grieving is harder for me than being Colson's mother.
There are days when I am just plain exhausted and at the end of my rope. Then Cole laughs and it makes everything better. I love laughing with my son. Sometimes I feel like I'm making up for 18 months of not laughing. His laugh is infectious. We must have done something right, because he is such a happy baby. I must say that I'm happy God chose me to be his momma.
There are days when I am just plain exhausted and at the end of my rope. Then Cole laughs and it makes everything better. I love laughing with my son. Sometimes I feel like I'm making up for 18 months of not laughing. His laugh is infectious. We must have done something right, because he is such a happy baby. I must say that I'm happy God chose me to be his momma.
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