I have never been as thankful for good days as I've been this week. I've continued to do well-- I've had my breakdown, of course, but they are less intense this week and farther apart. I'm seeing TONS of ladybugs all over the place. Everytime I see one, I feel like Kailee is telling me hello.
We got Kailee's changing table and crib this week. They are both put together and in her room. Pictures are hung. We are still waiting on her dresser. I still want to get a matching bookshelf to put all the books we received during the funeral and afterwards. It's so beautiful in there. I can't even begin to describe how peaceful that I feel just sitting in there. We also bought diapers..... I know what you're thinking---- have I lost my mind????? I actually haven't. We decided back in July to use gdiapers with our kids. At the time, they were out of the cloth inserts. We kept checking on and off, but it took FOREVER to get them back in stock. Well, Sunday, the medium size was there, so I ordered them! They came the same day we got her crib. I've got them folded in her changing table. It feels good preparing for a baby. I know Kailee won't ever use them, but I have so much hope for a baby in the future.
Hope-- it's a funny thing. After the miscarriage, I lost hope that we would ever bring home a baby. It was gone. Completely gone. I've NEVER lost hope for ANYTHING in my life before. It was a very lonely, sad feeling. It's come back--- mostly because of my stubborness. God graced me with a stubborn streak so much that I REFUSE to give up. I'm in this for the long haul....We WILL bring home our baby.
We got Kailee's changing table and crib this week. They are both put together and in her room. Pictures are hung. We are still waiting on her dresser. I still want to get a matching bookshelf to put all the books we received during the funeral and afterwards. It's so beautiful in there. I can't even begin to describe how peaceful that I feel just sitting in there. We also bought diapers..... I know what you're thinking---- have I lost my mind????? I actually haven't. We decided back in July to use gdiapers with our kids. At the time, they were out of the cloth inserts. We kept checking on and off, but it took FOREVER to get them back in stock. Well, Sunday, the medium size was there, so I ordered them! They came the same day we got her crib. I've got them folded in her changing table. It feels good preparing for a baby. I know Kailee won't ever use them, but I have so much hope for a baby in the future.
Hope-- it's a funny thing. After the miscarriage, I lost hope that we would ever bring home a baby. It was gone. Completely gone. I've NEVER lost hope for ANYTHING in my life before. It was a very lonely, sad feeling. It's come back--- mostly because of my stubborness. God graced me with a stubborn streak so much that I REFUSE to give up. I'm in this for the long haul....We WILL bring home our baby.
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