For those of you who have been following my blog, you know I've been apprehensive about Christmas. We decided to not celebrate this year. I must say that I don't regret it at all. Oh, I knew it was Christmas, but it was nice to celebrate in a non-traditional way. Brent and I went shopping and ran errands on Christmas Eve and then watched movies all evening. Then Christmas morning, we woke up and continued with our day as normal. Around 1, I got physically sick to my stomach. I figured it was probably just nerves. I was sick the remainder of Christmas day---- giving me something else to focus on! The upset stomach was a warning sign of a migraine that came on last night. It was far, far overdue, let me tell you! I get pretty yucky headaches--- haven't had one since before I was pregnant with Kailee.... thank God for pregnancy hormones!
It is now 11:46pm on Saturday night and I can't go to sleep. When lay down, all I think about is that night in the hospital again. Weird how I was so worried about Christmas---- thinking it would be worse than any other day--- turns out that I'm just as sad no matter what day it is.
We finished painting the trim on Kailee's room this weekend. It's so beautiful! When I start to freak out, just walking in her room calms me down. We need to put up the cute little wallpaper border. Baby furniture is ordered and should be here in the next month or so. It feels good to be doing this for her. I can feel her presence around me. On Christmas day, I was taking a shower and looked up to see a ladybug on the windowsill. It made me smile.
Brent and I read a chapter in one of our grief books this week. It talked about how a person needs to take time to take care of themselves while grieving. It struck home because we have been feeling selfish for taking this time. I guess this is an important time to be selfish.. There were examples in the book of people who didn't take this time and it their healing was just put off for months or years.
It is now 11:46pm on Saturday night and I can't go to sleep. When lay down, all I think about is that night in the hospital again. Weird how I was so worried about Christmas---- thinking it would be worse than any other day--- turns out that I'm just as sad no matter what day it is.
We finished painting the trim on Kailee's room this weekend. It's so beautiful! When I start to freak out, just walking in her room calms me down. We need to put up the cute little wallpaper border. Baby furniture is ordered and should be here in the next month or so. It feels good to be doing this for her. I can feel her presence around me. On Christmas day, I was taking a shower and looked up to see a ladybug on the windowsill. It made me smile.
Brent and I read a chapter in one of our grief books this week. It talked about how a person needs to take time to take care of themselves while grieving. It struck home because we have been feeling selfish for taking this time. I guess this is an important time to be selfish.. There were examples in the book of people who didn't take this time and it their healing was just put off for months or years.
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