Ultrasound Eve

Tomorrow is the big day. It's actually come pretty quickly. I'm surprised. I usually go into ultrasounds just so nervous and scared that something will be wrong. I'm not afraid for tomorrow, just anxious to get it over with, if that makes any sense. Now that I know what to expect, it doesn't seem so scary. I know there's supposed to be a heartbeat there--- if there's not then we will need to talk about another D&C or to just let me miscarry naturally. It's amazing that I can just think so "matter of factly" about all of this. If there is a heartbeat, it will be just as scary... the worry of whether or not the baby is growing correctly.... but mostly, the fear of whether or not I will have anmiotic fluid this go round. Either way, the entire thing is very scary. So, I'm anxious about tomorrow, but not nervous. Make sense?

Kailee would have been 7 months yesterday. I love that the 31st's of the month are spent with Brent. They are actually getting a little bit easier believe it or not. I used to replay that day through my head over and over.... I've made myself stop doing that. It only makes me crazy. I don't need anything else to make me crazy!!!! :-)

School is FINALLY out!!! I can sleep whenever I want without feeling guilty! I woke up this morning at 7 and went back to bed from 8:30-11:30. It's SOOOOOOO nice to be able to do this!

So.... we will see what tomorrow holds. Hoping for the best, expecting the worst---- that's what keeps me sane!