Kailee Rose

9/8/2011

1 Comment

 
I think people are afraid to bring her up. That's what I've decided. I think people believe that, if they bring up her name, it will remind me that I have a dead child. The stupid part about it is that I always remember that I have a dead child. Bringing it up is not "reminding me". Bringing her up helps me to heal. Why is that so hard for people to understand?
1 Comment
Geneva Houx link
9/8/2011 06:13:07 am

I have a good friend who lost a baby around the same time Kailee was born (he had anencephaly), and her take is that there really is no "right" thing for people to say or do...or NOT say or NOT do. For a long time, it just ALL made her angry. Every child is immediate to her mother, and thoughts of Kailee will be with you whether it's been a year or a decade or half a century. She was and is your child. For those in the world who have not been through what you have though, it's hard to know how to tread. Folks may think you've had enough of being asked about her, so they say nothing, hoping to give you a break, not knowing that silence isn't what you want or need. Maybe their repertoire of kid questions only include asking how and what she's doing, and since they can't ask those things about Kailee, they're baffled and don't say anything at all. Maybe they assume you're tired of sad looks and pity, but they don't know how else to approach your loss, so they don't approach at all. I don't know. I DO know that grief is a long-term thing, and that no one but you will ever feel it the way you do for Kailee, because no one else was chosen to be her mother. The "alone-ness" of that stinks, but it doesn't mean you aren't loved or that anyone has forgotten about your sweet girl. I'm a long way away, and I haven't seen you since high school, but I haven't forgotten (for whatever that's worth) ;). Thinking of you.

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