I need to post about September 15th again. Sorry people. As it gets closer and closer I can feel the knot in my stomach getting tighter and tighter. I hate that day. I wish I could just stay in bed and sleep through it. I'm hoping that the lead up to it will be worse than the actual day itself sort of like Kailee's due date was.
One year ago we had no idea what was about to hit us. But that's how life works, right? One minute everything is fine, but it can change on a dime. I'm not in control. I have to keep reminding myself of that fact. Colson is either meant to come home with us or he's meant to go home with Jesus. Kailee was meant to go home with Jesus. We got limited time with her. But, you know, everyone's time is limited, really. I have limited time with my husband... limited time with family and friends. Kailee's time was just cut much shorter than the average person's.
Colson is kicking like a champ. He gets stronger and stronger everyday. Brent was able to feel a little movement this morning, so it has definitely made me very happy. I was sitting in church this morning with this goofy grin on my face thinking about bringing home Colson; next thought lead to remembering closing Kailee's casket because I looked at the door to the room where we did that. Tears immediately sprang to my eyes and I had to physically make myself stop thinking that thought right that second. It's amazing that you can be so happily giddy one minute, and then so sad the next.
For those of you praying, I ask for specific prayers this week. I need to get through Wednesday with some amount of grace.
One year ago we had no idea what was about to hit us. But that's how life works, right? One minute everything is fine, but it can change on a dime. I'm not in control. I have to keep reminding myself of that fact. Colson is either meant to come home with us or he's meant to go home with Jesus. Kailee was meant to go home with Jesus. We got limited time with her. But, you know, everyone's time is limited, really. I have limited time with my husband... limited time with family and friends. Kailee's time was just cut much shorter than the average person's.
Colson is kicking like a champ. He gets stronger and stronger everyday. Brent was able to feel a little movement this morning, so it has definitely made me very happy. I was sitting in church this morning with this goofy grin on my face thinking about bringing home Colson; next thought lead to remembering closing Kailee's casket because I looked at the door to the room where we did that. Tears immediately sprang to my eyes and I had to physically make myself stop thinking that thought right that second. It's amazing that you can be so happily giddy one minute, and then so sad the next.
For those of you praying, I ask for specific prayers this week. I need to get through Wednesday with some amount of grace.
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