Yesterday was one of those days! I got to work in the morning and realized that there were baby showers scheduled for that day. I tried to put it out of my mind, but THAT didn't work. I began crying. I couldn't stop myself. I got my stuff, got in my car and called my boss. The sobs were HEAVING by this time. Mostly I was upset because they were having a shower for a lady who got pregnant 8 weeks after me. (I love you Angela and I am so glad you're going to have a baby if you're reading!!!!) It was incredibly difficult for me to see her have a shower when I haven't had one yet! Oh yeah, I know my baby died. I am absolutely aware of that fact, but it seemed out of order. For some reason I felt like I should have had a baby shower first and it just hit me like a ton of bricks when I realized that everyone is moving on.
Have you ever had a day like that? I ended up crying almost 6 hours yesterday. Tears just streaming down my face until I actually gave myself a headache, took some medicine and then went to sleep. Today I feel a little better, but still incredibly sad. I find it amazing that--- even 4 months later--- I can just break down like that an not be able to function on a normal level........