Dear Friends and Family,
It was recommended that I write a grief letter to help people I love understand what I’m going through and how to help me. I will try.
I have been through the worst year of my life. Losing a child is not only the loss of Kailee, but the loss of me being a mother, too. Going through this has been far more difficult than I could have ever imagined. Grief is messy and unpredictable. Thank you for being my friend and being concerned with helping me.
I want you to know that you will see me cry from time to time. Sometimes I don’t know why I’m crying. I do know that grief has made my emotions extremely intense. If my actions or words don’t always make sense to you, please be forgiving and patient with me. If I repeat myself again and again, please accept this as normal.
Sometimes when I speak with people, I’m not paying close attention. Please don’t get frustrated with me—My mind wanders to images of my daughter, and sometimes I can’t control that. If I’m not acting like “myself”, please understand that I’m not myself. Unpredictability has taken over every aspect of my emotions.
More than anything, I need your understanding. You don’t always have to know what to say or even say anything if you don’t know how to respond. Just tell me you don’t know what to say and leave it at that. I understand. Please don’t wait for me to call you since, mostly, I am just too tired or tearful to do so. If I tend to withdraw from you, please don’t let me do that. I need you to reach out to me for several months, if not several years.
I would appreciate your prayers. We prayed for Kailee so long and so hard, but Brent and I need prayers for healing, too. Our family has been broken. We will never get that back.
If you have experienced a similar type of loss, please feel free to share it with me. It will help rather than cause me to feel worse. And don’t stop sharing if I begin to cry. It will help rather than cause me to feel worse. It’s all right, and any tears you express as we talk are alright, too.
I love to talk about Kailee. It might make me a little sad, but since she hasn’t made “relationships” with other people, I don’t get to hear stories about her that I’ve never heard. Just talking about her makes her feel like she was here.
Please know that I don’t need fixing…. That is God’s job. Your love, patience and prayers will sustain me through this time. God is faithful, and He knows what I need.
Losing Kailee is so painful, and right now it feels like the worst thing that could ever happen to me. I will survive, and eventually recover. This knowledge gives me hope, even though there are plenty of times I don’t feel it. I know that I won’t always feel as I do now. Laughter and joy will emerge once again, someday.
Thank you for caring about me. Thank you for listening and praying. Please pray that God will use this time of grieving to grow me and equip me to help others with greater complassion than ever before. I know I will not just survive…. Joy will return. Pray this will happen soon. Thank you for caring enough to read this letter.
Carrie
It was recommended that I write a grief letter to help people I love understand what I’m going through and how to help me. I will try.
I have been through the worst year of my life. Losing a child is not only the loss of Kailee, but the loss of me being a mother, too. Going through this has been far more difficult than I could have ever imagined. Grief is messy and unpredictable. Thank you for being my friend and being concerned with helping me.
I want you to know that you will see me cry from time to time. Sometimes I don’t know why I’m crying. I do know that grief has made my emotions extremely intense. If my actions or words don’t always make sense to you, please be forgiving and patient with me. If I repeat myself again and again, please accept this as normal.
Sometimes when I speak with people, I’m not paying close attention. Please don’t get frustrated with me—My mind wanders to images of my daughter, and sometimes I can’t control that. If I’m not acting like “myself”, please understand that I’m not myself. Unpredictability has taken over every aspect of my emotions.
More than anything, I need your understanding. You don’t always have to know what to say or even say anything if you don’t know how to respond. Just tell me you don’t know what to say and leave it at that. I understand. Please don’t wait for me to call you since, mostly, I am just too tired or tearful to do so. If I tend to withdraw from you, please don’t let me do that. I need you to reach out to me for several months, if not several years.
I would appreciate your prayers. We prayed for Kailee so long and so hard, but Brent and I need prayers for healing, too. Our family has been broken. We will never get that back.
If you have experienced a similar type of loss, please feel free to share it with me. It will help rather than cause me to feel worse. And don’t stop sharing if I begin to cry. It will help rather than cause me to feel worse. It’s all right, and any tears you express as we talk are alright, too.
I love to talk about Kailee. It might make me a little sad, but since she hasn’t made “relationships” with other people, I don’t get to hear stories about her that I’ve never heard. Just talking about her makes her feel like she was here.
Please know that I don’t need fixing…. That is God’s job. Your love, patience and prayers will sustain me through this time. God is faithful, and He knows what I need.
Losing Kailee is so painful, and right now it feels like the worst thing that could ever happen to me. I will survive, and eventually recover. This knowledge gives me hope, even though there are plenty of times I don’t feel it. I know that I won’t always feel as I do now. Laughter and joy will emerge once again, someday.
Thank you for caring about me. Thank you for listening and praying. Please pray that God will use this time of grieving to grow me and equip me to help others with greater complassion than ever before. I know I will not just survive…. Joy will return. Pray this will happen soon. Thank you for caring enough to read this letter.
Carrie
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